I recently took my 6th cruise – 3rd solo. I’m not afraid to travel alone, although it does have its ups and downs. Up: I can eat, drink, sleep or whatever… without having to consult anyone else. Down: I have to haul my own luggage from the car to the port and vice versa.
I’m an over-packer. For a 5 day cruise, I will pack 6 sets of clothes for daytime, 4 for the dining room and 3 bathing suits. I almost always come home about 25% of my clothes unworn. Being an over-packer means my luggage is heavier than it needs to be so it slows me down and I end up with a couple of bruises after dragging it up and down stairs, down hallways and in and out of the car. I would love to say I only behave this way on vacation… but no, this is a pretty accurate description of most of my life.
As a truck driver, I am living proof that 8 lbs of stuff can be crammed into a 5lb bag. When I moved into my new truck in September, I transferred items from the old truck that I hadn’t used in at least 6 months. “But, I used it 2 years ago, I may need it again someday…” so into the new truck it went. I’m looking at a $5 toolkit I bought 3 years ago and have literally never used… but it’s in here… just in case.
I’m guilty of doing the same thing in my heart and my head… hanging on to useless emotions and beliefs that serve only to slow me down and cause pain.
I have no idea what caused it or when it started, but I can tell you that I don’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t have the sneaking suspicion that there was something fundamentally wrong with me. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been paralyzed by the fear that even if I did everything “right,” I would still fail because I’m a mistake, I’m bad, I’m wrong, I’m a joke, etc, etc. These toxic beliefs were compounded and affirmed every time I’ve been mistreated.
I’m a firm believer that we’re all here for a reason. We all have a mission and we’re going to be here until we complete it. For years I didn’t know what my mission was. I wrestled with the idea that I even had a mission, after all, what is a complete failure going to be able to accomplish? About 10 years ago, God showed me my mission. He wants me to help other people (primarily women) overcome their own self-limiting beliefs and fears, set down their excess baggage and become the women He has called them to be.
I had to work on my own baggage first. That doesn’t mean I’ve arrived. I’m still a work in progress. I think I always will be, but I am learning. I still have baggage, but a lot less these days. I’m still learning how to recognize what baggage needs to be shed. That’s why I named this site “Shedding the Baggage,” instead of “The Baggage is Shed.” It’s a continuing journey.
Does any of this sound familiar to you? My hope is that my words will resonate with someone who will then decide to follow along and venture out into their own journey. There is a whole world out there, waiting to be explored – but first we have to shed the baggage.
